Currently Reading...

Besides textbooks, I am currently reading this:

"Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl" by Lysa Terkeurst
Now, this is the first book by Lysa that I've read, but I've been reading her blog daily for a while now. And I have to say, that her writing style is so down to earth and readable that she is one of my favorite writers. This book is absolutely wonderful.
If you haven't read it, I so highly recommend it. But I also recommend finding her blog, watch her videos on her website and youtube. I am a HUGE fan of feeding ourselves spiritually.
I, as a wife, mother and fulltime college student (oh and pastor's wife...let's not forget that) I have to keep books within arms reach for when I have a few spare minutes to read. I keep cd's going in the vehicle. I keep mp3's on my Blackberry to listen to when I can...I believe in using every available tool to feed myself and keep myself encouraged and Lysa's material is some of the stuff I keep going...
Because I DO want to be more than a good Bible study girl...I want this Jesus thing to play out in my life in a real way...I want my life to reflect a real and living faith...

So, check out the book...you'll be blessed, I promise.

Shakespeare and Proverbs 14:4

In Literature this week, we are studying the English Sonnet and Shakespeare. I personally fell in love with Shakespeare in High School at the hands of an very "mean" English teacher.
You know the kind....
the kind that is actually passionate about the subject matter she is teaching and actually wanted us to understand the context of the material and the history that surrounded it...
one that would correct your grammar,
she'd send your papers back all marked up with red pen...
yeah, one of those kinds...
that when you look back...
was a heck of a teacher and you're so glad you had them!
I want to be just like her.

Yet, I am still going back and forth over the subject matter I will teach. I am almost persuaded to teach math and science (more job security, easier grading)...
But...I definitely know I am called to be a teacher.

Back to Literature and the sonnet.

Here is my composition that will earn me 10 bonus points for simply giving the effort. I couldn't resist passing it along...

Ode to Proverbs 14:4

Order and cleanliness eludes her walls
though efforts to obtain them are unending,
toys, clutter, paper, shoes up and down the halls
and not a willing soul is lending
a helping hand to this weary mother,
a maid she feels she is, with no profit or commission
left to sigh and wonder why e'er she bother
to continue her unfruitful repetition.
The chores and tasks she lists "to do"
will simply become undone behind her
yet the spotless dream that will one day come true
will then be a very sore reminder.
Disorder and jumble are signs of life and fun.
Sometimes better to enjoy the doing than the done.

I Didn't Ask To Be Born!

Do you remember making that statement?
I remember it well.
I know I was an early teen and fussing with my mother.
And I remember that her reply was less than kind.
I'm sure deep down I hurt her by making such a selfish statement.

But, a truer statement has never been made.

Not a one of us alive on planet Earth has ever asked to be here.
We had no say in the matter.

I was making my bed one morning when this train of thought sped into the station of my brain.
It was out of the clear blue, but it floored me none the less.

So, here is how I wrote it down in my notebook that day.

"We are eternal beings.
I am a spirit. (That is the part of me that is made in the image of God.) I have a soul. I live in a body. But I AM a spiritual being.
If I had never been conceived in my mother's womb--if I had never existed, then I would never have BEEN! And if I had never BEEN, I would never have known God.
So therefore, the greatest gift God has given me is existence--is being! No matter how long (or short) this earthly element of my existence--that is not the big picture. It's the fact that now, because I was even conceived in the first place, I eternally exist.

This proves the truth that we exist because it simply pleased God to create us. There was a time when Cassandra Stafford was NOT. Then came a moment when Cassandra Stafford WAS. And that moment was God's sovereignty. I did nothing to warrant existing. I didn't ask to be created. God did it because He wanted me to exist! He loved me before my mom ever beheld my chubby little cheeks or count my fingers and toes. And He died for me to give me the chance to be ETERNALLY His.

Even with abortion, we cannot affect eternity. Eternity is God's realm. Even when a human takes a life here through abortion, those babies will continue to live forever simply because they were conceived.

Proof? Look at the story of Job. One of the horrible things that happened to Job was he lost his 7 children in an accident at their home. All 7--gone! Just like that! Yet, God promised Job that He would restore to him double everything that was destroyed and taken. And God did. He gave Job twice the cattle. Twice the land. Twice the money. But only 7 more kids....

I thought Job was supposed to get double the kids.

He did.

7 new ones here. The original 7 in eternity. His first 7 kids died, but they didn't cease to exist and because of that...Job had 14 kids all together."

When I realized this truth in a such a huge way that morning, I realized what a comforting thought this is. 1) I am not in control. God's sovereignty is huge. 2) Death is an escape from this world. But not in the way those who contemplate suicide believe. they believe dieing causes them to no longer exist. So untrue. Once you are conceived...you exist forever...the question is 3) where? where I spend this eternal existence is what is of the utmost importance.

I Am A Bad Blogger

There's this little law of blogging...
You have to blog on a regular basis (best if done daily) to keep traffic coming to your blog.

I was doing pretty good at doing that during the summer.

But when the classes start, the time to have thoughts that do not pertain to science and algebra is slim.

Sometimes I even think I should just delete my blog and start back in two years when I'm out of school and may have something interesting to say...

(Thoughts like that are why my husband says I can be a little all or nothing sometimes).

So...if you actually click to read this...God bless you. You must really be my internet buddy...cause I know it isn't due to my content or consistency.

And with that...I am off to catch up on literature reading before the big girls get home from school. (And kiss my sweet baby girl that has been so patient while mommy has studied algebra for the last 4 hours)...

Book Giveaway!

My friend Mandy, also known as TrenchMommy, is giving away a free audio book on her book review blog. Click here to check out the link!



We are a family of readers at my house. My oldest reads nonstop. She roller blades and reads. She has taken up her mother's habit of reading in the bathtub. (I know, that could cost money replacing teacher's books, so I have had to tell her to only take HER books in there.) She reads until we make her turn out the light and go to bed. I'm really proud of her (though we have occasional disagreements about the material to read).
I mostly read text books these days (that going back to school thing you know) BUT I make time to read for personal growth and fun, too. When I am actually going to campus and not having to do all this reading that comes with online classes (you basically teach yourself the material) I want to read more fiction and some of the wonderful material my literature professor is showing us. I heart my literature class. I heart books...
So, I'll be signing in for a chance to win this book myself but wanted to pass on the info. to all you as well....cause free...well, that's good stuff! Thanks Mandy for the giveaway!

Unfailing Love

Yesterday morning, as I sat at the table eating breakfast and drinking coffee with my almost 3 year old...
Yes.
We have coffee every morning nearly.
Anyway, as I sat there...I heard the Holy Spirit speak to my heart so, so plain.
He said, "Invite me into your day."
I thought, "what?"
And I heard it again..."Invite me into your day."
So I opened my mouth to say the words and the tears started.
I sat at the table bawling (that's southern terminology for "weeping") asking the Holy Spirit to come into my day. To be like the friend you want to tag along with you and spend the day with you, though you do have a few errands to run...but you do what you have to do then jump right back into the conversation...
Example:
A few years ago, my husband did sales work. It was before we had baby number 3, so the 2 kids at the time were both in school. Well, he would ask me to go to work with him. And some days I would. He'd get out, go into the businesses...do what he needed to do. But I was company to him as he did it. He just wanted to be able to spend time with me and work.
That's how the Holy Spirit wants to be. He knows we have meals to cook, calls to make, errands to run. But He wants to be company to us as we do those things.
So yesterday, I made the vocal invitation.
Lord, I invite you into my day.
Make your presence known.
Did I sit and cry lost in worship all day?
No.
But I carried my day out as though He were right there.
And several times yesterday...He made himself known.

I'd hear a statement in my heart and think "whoa, God, that is good!" and later that day my husband used the exact same sentence...and there was no way it was merely coincidence. It was God. But my favorite example that touched me so deeply was this...
I had been reading Psalms that morning and noticed the phrase David kept repeating "unfailing love"...I had the thought "would be interesting to see how many times that phrase is in the Bible" and made a mental note to do that...
Well, right before bed I am sitting in the living room (reading boring geography!!) and a book just stands out to me on the shelf...(It's Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word" if you're curious) and I just felt like I NEEDED to go get that book. So I got it and felt that I just NEEDED to read the section on praying about love. And guess what was in the first two paragraphs....

Do you see it?
Sorry it's fuzzy...but it says "Interestingly, the Word of God uses the phrase "unfailing love" thirty two other times and not one of them refers to any other source than God Himself."
I teared up and thought..."Holy Spirit...you're invited back tomorrow!"
There was no way that was coincidence.
It was Him making Himself known.
So...today I am inviting Him back into my day (though pretty certain He never left...but you know what I mean) and... also telling Him I need some help with geography.

(Who better to ask?)
:)

And Exhale...

Shew!
Got midterms finished. Now it's back to the normal routine until the week or two before finals.
I have been working my hiney off to stay on top of all the material this semester.
For example, physical science this week is about sound waves, light waves, electromagnetic waves, etc...all kinds of formulas for all that jazz...
Literature has us studying writings from the Renaissance era. In particular this week, I am reading Don Quixote by Miguel DeCervantes. (I'm actually the story though I just started on it last night...it took one hours worth the reading to read her lecture notes that set up the story...lots of reading I tell ya...)
and there's geography (which is not my favorite class) and algebra (which I got a 96 on my midterm!! I was so siked...I studied like crazy for it and really finally get the why's and how's...)
I have been limited in what I can write on here the last little bit, not solely because of time constraints, but because so much of what God is working in my heart is concentrated around a certain season or time/thing that I cannot talk about right now...and it leaves me with not much to write about except superficial stuff...
All I can say is the enemy has made sure that I am at no loss for people or situations to be offended at and its taken a concerted effort to keep a soft heart before God...and to to not revert back to a performance based mentality (thinking God loves me more when I'm holding it all together and is disappointed in me when I'm struggling to maintain control)...don't tell me you never think that way... ;)
Being in school full time and being in the fishbowl of ministry is a hard combination sometimes...I'm trying so hard to live for an audience of One...
It takes courage to lay down what others think about you and base your mood, attitude and life around the opinion of the One and Only...courage I am begging Him to give me...
Meanwhile...I found another great pastor's wife blog:
http://www.sovgracepastorswives.com/
So far, what I've read there has been great...

Time to go reboot the servant girls (that's the washer/dryer/dishwasher...my take on Proverbs 31 :) and fix some sides to go with the roast in the crockpot...then I want to take a stroll around the neighborhood while the sun is shining...
I heart fall.
And exhaling...